How Stupid Can You Be?

Look at this smug asshole. 

Let me just say right off the bat, I REALLY wanted to like this character. I mean, he's cute (friggin animators just HAD to make him cute) but he's just such a selfish ego-maniacal dick. He redeems himself as an old man by truly regretting what he did. The only thing his younger self regrets is his company going down. And that's pretty shitty. His song "How Bad Can I Be?" clearly illustrates that he knew what he was doing was wrong but he did it anyway because of his greed. 

So, I wrote a parody of that catchy tune. Enjoy:

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How stu-u-u-pid can you be? You're cutting down every single tree.
How stu-u-u-pid can you be? It's obvious you're just greedy.
How stu-u-u-pid can you be? Your arrogance is plain to see.
How stu-u-u-pid can you be? How dumb can you possibly be?

Yes, there's a principal of nature (principle of nature)
That every creature must respect
And clearly you don't get it (clearly you don't get it)
It's not what you'd expect
Well survival of the fittest must balance out with the earth and water and air
But all you see is more money. The rest? You don't care-care-care-care-care!
Were you never taught to share?
I'm just sayin'.

How stu-u-u-pid can you be? You're cutting down every single tree.
How stu-u-u-pid can you be? It's obvious you're just greedy.
How stu-u-u-pid can you be? Your arrogance is plain to see.
How stu-u-u-pid can you be? How dumb can you possibly be?

Well there's a principal in business (principal in business)
A thing you never learned about
Called a "management plan"  (management plan)
Without which, the cash runs out
Instead of setting up a nursery to grow new trees you just chopped them down en mass!
You could've kept up with supply and demand, but you blew it! You dumb ass-ass-ass-ass-ass!  
(you screwed up so fast)

Let me hear you say, "I'm a moron!" (I'm a moron!)
"My company is done!" (company is done!)
Took your mom's advice; how many businesses has she run? (NONE!)
C'mon, how dumb can you possibly be?!

How stu-u-u-pid can you be? Can't you just pluck the tufts you need?
How stu-u-u-pid can you be? Why not plant more truffula seeds?
How stu-u-u-pid can you be? What the hell even is a 'thneed'?!
How stu-u-u-pid can you be? How dumb can you possibly be? Let's see...

(How stu-u-u-pid can you be?) You got caught up in your lying.
(How stu-u-u-pid can you be?) And your family left you crying.
(How stu-u-u-pid can you be?) Now no one else is buying.
(How stu-u-u-pid can you be?) And no more birds are flying.
(How stu-u-u-pid can you be?) The environment is dying.
(How stu-u-u-pid can you be?) Does it still feel gratifying?

It's bad.
As bad as could possibly be.

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*sigh* Such a hot character...such a shitty personality. 


Done with colored pencils and sharpie markers. 

Parodied song lyrics written by me.